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We’ve all been there. You’re walking along a crowded sidewalk, a grocery aisle, or an airport terminal, and suddenly you’re stopped in your tracks. Why? Because of that guy. The one who doesn’t seem to be in any hurry, just wandering along and slowing everyone down. In the moment, you’re probably cursing that person for getting in your way and wasting your time. But is slowing down really a bad thing?
As someone who has long prided themself with always go-go-going, being married to a slow walking, time-taker has changed my tune.
With our society’s obsession with working ’til exhaustion, multi-tasking 24/7, and sleeping as little as possible, it’s no wonder that we’ve lost the ability to appreciate the slow lane. After all, taking things slow = wasting time, right?
WRONG! After decades of being convinced otherwise, I’m now certain that taking things slow is NOT a waste of time.
As someone who has long prided themself with always go-go-going, being married to a slow walking, time-taker has changed my tune. What used to drive me crazy, my husband’s perpetually slow pace, is now a trait I wouldn’t change for the world.
He helped me to slow down and appreciate how beautiful our city is, what it feels like to simply be beside him, and how liberating being aware and in the moment is.
I’m embarrassed to admit that early in our relationship, I couldn’t understand why this man I cared so much about refused to keep pace with me. Everywhere we went I would be several paces ahead before turning around and giving him a confused look. I honestly thought if I just kept walking fast he would learn to keep up.
For me, walking fast was natural and made sense. First of all, I viewed walking as a means of exercise. Why would I walk slow when I could burn more calories by walking fast? Not to mention my to-do list everyday was overly ambitious and walking slow “wasted” valuable moments that could be better spent tackling other tasks. Productivity was first and foremost in my mind and therefore moving through life quickly seemed to make perfect sense.
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Then weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. I slowly started to understand where my (now) husband was coming from. He wasn’t trying to kill time, and he wasn’t lazy. He was just better at appreciating the subtleties in life.
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How could I not have appreciated his ability to take it slow all along?
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As cheesy as it sounds, all these things I considered to be a waste of time were things he considered a vital part of the journey. Every walk was a chance to take in his surroundings and appreciate the scenery. Every wait in line was a chance to process thoughts about a creative project, an academic paper, or a conversation he had.
Having a partner who is so opposite from me in this way turned out to be incredibly rewarding. He helped me to slow down and appreciate how beautiful our city is, what it feels like to simply be beside him, and how liberating being aware and in the moment is. When we sit down to dinner, he’s not rushing to eat and move on to the next activity, he’s enjoying his food and fully engaged in our conversations. How could I not have appreciated his ability to take it slow all along?
I’m still a workaholic, and I still get frustrated sometimes by his leisurely pace, but I have to admit that having a partner who is 100% in the moment is the best thing that ever happened to me.
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The post Why Life Is Way Better With a Man Who Takes His Time appeared first on The Good Men Project.