The Men in My Life: I Wouldn’t Be Me Without Them

I’m thankful for typical men, and it’s not what stereotypes would have you expect!

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Maybe it’s the losses I’ve incurred over the last couple years or maybe it’s the season, but I’ve been feeling very thankful for the people in my life. And upon reflection, I’m especially thankful for the amazing group of men in my life right now.

Growing up, I assumed that men were just great in general. My dad was exceptional in the man and father department (equally great was my mom, but I’ll save that for another post). He was always present for all the big and small moments in my life; every doctor’s appointment, every dance recital, every school play, every disappointment and scraped knee. He was a constant, loving, and encouraging presence in my life.

But, as it turns out, a presence that wasn’t seen as typical; a dad who wasn’t afraid to play Pretty, Pretty Princess; who was as willing to have an honest conversation about dating as he was about cars; and who encouraged me to travel the world and see the best in people. In my world, this was normal and it seemed natural to me to expect the other men I encountered in life to be the same.

However, that wasn’t always the case. This is in part due to the fact that not every member of a group is the same (duh), as well as the fact that historically men have been expected to play a very different role than the one my dad was playing. So naturally, some of the men I’ve met have been more selfish and cold while others have been more kind and compassionate.

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This past month I’ve been especially happy and thankful, in many aspects of my life. And as is a habit of mine when I’m feeling a certain emotion strongly, I reflected and made a list of things that were contributing to my feelings.

Here is an overview of the things making me especially happy at the moment.

• My husband and our partnership. The fact that we are experiencing a new city together and supporting each other in our projects is priceless to me. We share many interests and are able to spend time being creative and making art together. Being able to stand strong together through stressful times has brought us closer together and truly made us see each other as family and life partners. And I regularly fall asleep/wake up to him playing the guitar or piano. What could be better than that?!
• My family and our close connection. Despite the fact that I am now living in a different state than my family, they remain a comforting and regular part of my life. I can literally talk to them about anything (without being judged!) and they always know how to make me laugh if I’m feeling down.
• My jobs and work family. Although bitter, stressed and unfortunate may be the words some would use to describe the loss of a job or career change, I’m finding thankful, happy, and inspired to be more accurate. I now have a group of people I work with who are doing amazing, creative meaningful things. And I get paid to spend time with them!
• My creative writing club. A chance, once a week, to get feedback on my fiction writing, read creative works from friends, and enjoy a home cooked meal.
• My game night crew. AKA, nerd night. We come together, each with our favorite board games, to learn, have fun, and master games, new and old.
• My friends from near and far. Those special people who I can be myself around and have honest conversations with, whether they live next door or across the globe.

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The thing I noticed immediately was that the list mainly focused on people and support systems that I have in my life right now. Quite simply, it was the people in my life that were making me feel happy, safe, and free in a way that I hadn’t felt in some time.

And then I realized that many of these people who were part of my circles and support systems were men. 

This includes a few constants: my dad and husband. Two men, who in many ways represent the side of masculinity that is often ignored. The creative, artistic, gentle, calm, and non-violent aspects that make them exceptionally strong men in my eyes.

And it also represents men who are friends and collaborators. Men who write beautiful stories; men who cook tasty and sustaining meals; men who design insightful and gorgeous games and graphics; men who heal; and men who engage in honest, funny, and vulnerable conversations.

So, I would like to say thank you to all the amazing men in my life. Those who represent the full spectrum of what makes masculinity and humanity great!

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This Post is republished on Medium.

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Photo credit: iStock

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